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And now, for your entertainment...

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Glenn Terry

Joined: 26 Dec 2010
Posts: 54
Location: Minneapolis area, MN

PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:23 pm    Post subject: And now, for your entertainment... Reply with quote

I recently shared with a sculptor friend two of my "best of" posts from the days of taking on the "anything is art" crowd at the sculpture.net forum. It occurred to me that it might be fun to share this here, both for your amusement and also to give you some ideas if you are faced with the challenge of people trying to confuse you into thinking up is down, black is white, right is wrong, and that you are a neandrathal if you believe otherwise.

Here they are:

Alright, fellow sculptors, you are invited to a dinner at my studio. It will be the "Culinary Arts, Anything Goes Dinner"

Those of you who believe that art is about class envy and politics, go sit in the other room with the serfs. The rest of us kings and queens can't be bothered.

Those following the figurative tradition will be served lasgna, a tossed salad, carrots and kale, and a rice dish.

The abstract sculptors will have the same meal, except we will be mixing it all in a blender first.

For the found object artists, we will be serving fillet of compressed and dehydrated squirrel with a garnish of deflated tennis balls and cigarette butts.
Last year's autumn leaf salad with rusty beer cans with be followed by a desert of broken CD covers and old socks.

For the concept artists, imagine a dinner with you enjoying it...words don't begin to describe it!

The minimalists will be served a nice big bowl of steam.

The computer artists will be served hologram stew, which I understand is both low fat and low carb.

The performance artists will be performing for your entertainment, and those who have smeared themselves with chocolate will be available for dessert.

The deconstructionists unfortunately will be missing the meal, but get to do the dishes.

Any questions?


(And for the second one, when one of the guys who I often tussled with was coming from Seattle to St. Cloud to install one of his works, I suggested he stop by my studio for a visit. He suggested if he had time that we go to the Walker Art Museum (our version of the MOMA is such a draw for me that I've been through there how many times in the last 25 years?...let's see...oh yeah, not once!). So I imagined the following scenario of us going there together):

Ries: Glenn, check out this Framplegarp installation. This guy really knows how to manipulate space and skew the viewer's perceptions...

Glenn: Ries, all I see is an empty room.

Ries: You're letting your preconceptions limit the experience.

Glenn: What about this sign? It says; " Walker room # 35. Framplegarp exhibit here, May thru August, 2008 " It's only April.

Ries: See, what a master, that Framplegarp! He's already doing it with the sign!


Glenn: Ries, I just checked with the security guard. He says that the room has been emptied so they can install the Framplegarp exhibit next week.

Ries: Hah! the security guard is part of the installation. What genius!

Glenn: Okay, I think I'm getting the picture. Ries, look over there. Now that's an installation I can understand.

Ries: That's not an installation, thats the Walker's food concession.

Glenn: How can that be? That's not food, it's a bunch of croissants with enough brie and lettuce to feed half a mouse! For $10 a pop!

( Fade to Glenn going towards the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to get some real food and real art, leaving Ries in an estatic trance of sensory overload, having encountered so many of the Walker's heros and masterworks all in one building )
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Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Posts: 834

PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 1:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have a splendid Christmas Glenn, and everyone else
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Jeanette Lewis

Joined: 13 Oct 2009
Posts: 595
Location: Merseyside U.K.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Glenn,
I just caught 10 minutes of broadcast on the Turner prize competition last night . Better than watching paint dry for inducing sleep.
ANyway ...One exhibit consisted of lots of crumpled paper in a big room and some nylon mesh hanging from a ceiling...so I decided not to waste my time further.
Whilst all these art forms may have their place and context, (i.e. the Emporor's new clothes) for me, figurative sculpture is the one which takes the most skill, and I personally appreciate the most.
Duc in Altum
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Paula Slater

Joined: 24 May 2007
Posts: 222
Location: Hidden Valley Lake, CA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hilarious, Glenn, but also not far from the truth!

Thanks for a great laugh Smile

Much creativity and happy holidays to everyone,
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